I'm a Beta Tau Beta

I was formally initiated as a Beta Tau Beta on Wednesday.

Apparently I was only a BTB (bride-to-be) pledge to this point. But now there's no denying it - I'm officially part of the sisterhood.

Only this time there was no secret password, candle light or promise of raised letters.

There was just one big fat awful wedding nightmare.

And as president of my sorority in college, I can assure you that it was a rite of passage far scarier than that of my freshmen year.

I awoke on Thursday from a wedding day with no photographer, no manicure and no idea how to pull together the mess around me.

It left me anxious and forlorn for most of the afternoon, certain that my future was destined to such misfortune.

But then my BTB sisters shared with me their inaugural wedding nightmares, and I felt much better.

I'm back to being the big (wo)man on campus - with even greater resolve to ensure there are no loose ends by July 16.

So tell me, what is your worst wedding nightmare?

Life Loyal,
BTB

* - to be true to my Delta Delta Delta roots, I must clarify that we call our ladies "new members" not pledges. But in the context of the blog, the terminology made greater stereotypical sense.

The Break-Up

Speaking of my first wedding dress, I received this email from Cindy yesterday.

The day I met Cindy was the day that playing dress-up died. On November 13, she poked and prodded me into my first real wedding dress faster than I could say "I do."

I still felt like a 4-year-old.

But Cindy eased me into dresses and out of dismay. She listened to me as I described the ideal dress, and sympathized with me when I disliked each one of them in the mirror.

She commiserated with my mother, who once worked in a wedding boutique, over the brides who seemingly forgot to wear underwear the day of their dress consultation.

She had extra hair ties and bobby pins.

She offered us punch.

She sent a handwritten thank you even though we left the store empty handed.

And now this.

I just can't bring myself to tell Cindy that I bought my dress elsewhere. I never expected having to break-up with anyone while being engaged.

Love,
BTB

Throwback Wedding Dress

This is my first wedding dress.

I hope to not be caught between the same angel/Egyptian pose at my actual wedding.

However, in that 1990 moment, I know this was the perfect, most bride-like posture I knew to make.

I mean, take it from Ariel.

I did.

Hugs,

BTB

Quesadilla Love

Quesadillas have little to do with wedding planning. But as I sat down to lunch today, I realized that they have implications for my future with Adam.

You see, for the past three days, I have eaten these little guys.

It's not like I'm in college. I have a full pantry at my disposal; fruits and veggies are in my fridge. I even consider my cooking skills to be above average.

But yet, I have eaten The Pioneer Woman's quesadillas for three days in a row, and I'd probably continue fixing them if I hadn't just used my last jalepeno and tortilla.

Therein lies the difference between me and Adam.

Adam doesn't like leftovers.

He hardly owns tupperware (note to self: register for tupperware).

He most certainly wouldn't consider eating the same thing for an entire week.

And that's fine. I will negotiate three quesadillas for an entire husband.

But I'm wondering, how do you learn to cook not only for yourself, but for the tastes and preferences of some else? Not just for date night or a dinner party - but for (like) ever?

Thoughts?

BTB

Pages

Check out the two new blog pages: About Us and Vendors. Follow the arrows!

Enjoy!

BTB

Bib

Look at this sweet JCrew number. Unfortunately, it sold out yesterday while I was being indecisive. (That comes as no surprise.)

As I wait for various spring collections to be released, I'll shake my head at what slipped through my fingers and refocus on what I'm looking for in bridal jewelry.

DESIRED: A TIMELESS STATEMENT PIECE THAT OOZES WITH SIMPLICITY AND FEMININITY.

That's a pretty loaded request.

And after critically thinking through the JCrew bib, I'm not sure that it fits the bill.

I mean, a bib necklace? I bought one in Washington, DC the spring of 2009 and it totally got shot down.

The super-sized accessory dates back to ancient Egypt and Elizabeth Taylor. Much later, a Cartier bib necklace was given to the Duchess of Windsor by her husband in 1947.

I'm sure there were more notable pieces in between (didn't we all just LOVE the Stormy Seas necklace from Anthropologie?), and I'm sure there are more to come.

What I'm not sure about is whether I'll wear one at my wedding.

Hmph,
BTB

Life's like a garden

Kate's last post made me think of the lyrics of one of my favorite (albeit guilty pleasure) songs.

David Wilcox wrote a song called "Block Dog" where he says "Life's like a garden, I'd like to tend it with my wife. You dig in one spot, dig a straight row. You're only digging to hide the bone. When I lived so free, alone, I had an empty harvest."

I expect there will be digging and sweating, but there will also be fruit. And I guess it isn't linear like plant/reap/enjoy and the seasons aren't necessarily... seasonal, but in its own way each fruit undergoes its own growing and maturation process.

Put on the gloves Kate; I know we're going to have a big garden. :)

A Well-Watered Garden

I've been chewing on my friend's blog post about marriage for a few days now. For the full read, click here. For the abbreviated version followed by my commentary, see below.

as for knowing if you love someone and then if you should marry him…

the longer i’ve been married, my view of this question has become less romantic. i think the question is more about deciding if you want to commit to a life-long relationship. this is a difficult and laborious commitment but one that, i think, has deeply sweet fruits. i haven’t been married for very long (in the wide scope of things) so i am far from a full understanding of my vow. so far i can say that it has been more difficult than it has been fun. but i do feel that i have a priceless friend that (given my character traits), i would not have outside of marriage. i think that this is of value and will continue to become more valuable the longer we commit to it.

deciding if this sort of arrangement aligns with your values and priorities is the first question (i think its okay if it doesn’t).

after this, the specific person you chose becomes less important. i say that because, whoever you marry will grow and change and not be the person you originally picked. and also because, no matter who you pick, you will learn their flaws and forget their beauty and be sometimes annoyed and sometimes you will loathe them (well, i do at least).

not to say that you shouldn’t be diligent and thoughtful in the choosing of a partner. but i guess, the most important thing to consider is if the person has the same commitment and expectations and values for marriage. and after that it just gets down to preferences. think about the things that are most important to you and make sure that those things are supported and valued by your partner and vice versa. i guess i’m saying that feelings of love don’t answer this question. feelings about/for a person are indicators of something going on inside of you and it is good to try and understand what they are pointing to. but they don’t know how to make decisions (especially life-long vows).

I've chewed on this because it's so dang good.

What some may find "less romantic," as Ashley put it, I find thrilling - the grit of marriage. The stuff that's going to require a mixture of head, heart, and help; the necessity of communication, commitment, and community.

The idea is almost too large for me to even put into words. All I can squeak out is a "thank you" to women like Ashley who attest to the fullness of marriage. Or to newly engaged Amelia, who through tears and smiles, has overflowed with love and fear since the day she said, "Yes!"

I'm right there with you, girlfriend.

It's healthy and formative for couples to realize marriage is going to be more than good looks and butterflies.

Some days are going to be gray and overcast. Others will require a lot more shoveling and pruning- we'll probably have to get down on our hands and knees in the dirt and grit. But in the end, there's this picture of a rich marriage to which I cling (Is.58:11-12):

we'll be like a watered garden...

our ruins shall be rebuilt;

we will raise up the foundations of many generations;

we will restore the streets to dwell in.

Wink,

BTB

All dressed up and no where to go

I'm convinced that no sample dress photographs well. Between the camera's flash, the clips and the smudged make-up, it's hard to capture the excitement, thrill and beauty of "The One."

But that doesn't stop any BTB from taking a picture from every angle! Duh.

Therefore, I have a slew of pictures of myself in the dress I'll be wearing on..... SIKE. We don't have a date. I'm all dressed up with no where to go!

Luckily, I won't be alone. I also purchased my bridesmaid dresses yesterday.

Let's not forget this was on day 8 of engagement. Moreover, the fact that I hadn't even asked anyone to be my bridesmaid. Pfff. I sucked it up and made giggly phone calls in the JCrew parking lot. Not exactly what I was going for... but, ya know.

I went from one emotional high to another as our parents met for the first time last night! But I can barely process that at the moment.

I'm still stuck on the dresses...

BTB


p.s. - my dress won't be in until late March or April... so we can at least say the wedding will be after that!

The Dress

With a minute to spare, I make tonight's deadline.

Impromptu dress shopping with mom MAY have resulted in a winner.

Verdict is still out...

Therefore, I need to go to bed because apparently I'll know in the morning.

BTB

p.s. More on this experience later!

Sequins

Adam and I had lunch with his mom this afternoon. It was the first time we've seen any family since the proposal and it was so much fun! Cheryl jumped right into registry musts and I tried to show off as much of the wedding binder as possible. "Look at me! Look at me!"

I'm thankful for Adam's family and his relationship with them. It increases my excitement to see my parents on Saturday, and then for the Brimer and Heubach soiree on Monday night! We are merging families; two becoming one.

Today's most exciting happening occurred when Kim at the Georgetown JCrew booked my FIRST bridal consultation for Nov. 26 at 1 pm. Kim made my day (and perhaps has already made my wedding) by allowing me - the one and only "non-emergency" appointment - to be booked on Black Friday.

Haha. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I feel like what a sparkly sequin must feel like.

This whole dress shopping thing has unfolded in such a sweet manner. Initially, I suggested that my mom and I try to squeeze in some Knoxville appointments this weekend. However, my spirit was immediately uneasy.

Without a date/location (and therefore no conversation with potential bridal party members), buying a dress just seemed out of order. The date and location will certainly influence the style of dress, and moreover, I want to savor and share the shopping experience with pronounced members of my bridal party.

It won't be a perfect experience... I'm not in la-la land here... but I can be intentional in how I go about this.

And I can always hope to be sipping champagne in the dressing room.

Smiles,
BTB

Big Rock Candy Mountain

Ohmygosh, I'm engaged to Adam Brimer!

Overcome with joy and encouragement, we are both (tired and) thrilled!

While hiking yesterday through Big South Fork in northern Tennessee, Adam proposed atop Angel Falls overlook. Amidst the "oh my gosh-es," there was a cheerful YES!

We are lucky enough to have captured the proposal on video which allowed for this screen shot of the bended knee and freak-out hands:

Despite several months, and I mean seh-heeev-er-uuhl months, of (borderline bitter) anticipation, I can say this:

It wasn't a minute too late-- or too soon. It was absolutely perfect. The Lord is so good and faithful!

"And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord," Luke 1:45.

The last 24-hours have passed as a peaceful whirlwind.

Hike --> Freak-out Phone Calls --> Celebratory French Fries --> Video chat with Kimberly and Sam in Roma!! --> Welcome Ben and Audrey from Nashville --> Church --> Freak-out Hands --> Engagement Party -> Freak-out Hands while eating pizza

My head and my heart cannot process quickly enough; it would be most convenient if my sentences were fill-in-the-blank.

But that wouldn't make much for a blog.

Peace & love!

BTB

(bride/brimer-to-be)