Island of Women

As you can see from our website, our honeymoon is booked!

Adam joined forces with my Dad to plan a trip to Isla Mujeres, Mexico. Located 8-ish miles off the coast of Cancun, the Island of Women is a low key Caribbean getaway with Corona-esque white-sand beaches but with plenty of Dos Equis and Modelo.

As we began thinking about honeymoon locations, we took into account all-inclusive luxury resorts marketed towards newlyweds.

However, smitten with adventure and local color, Adam and I quickly agreed that we wanted the freedom to roam and eat as we pleased with a fair degree of confidence and comfort in where we were staying.

Having traveled to Isla several times with my family (and Sara!) - my parents happened to be on the island when Adam and I decided on it for the honeymoon - the decision was fairly simple.

And thank goodness! Had we waited a few more weeks, we may be facing increased rates and travel headaches as Yahoo Travel recently voted Playa Norte on Isla one of the top 10 beach destinations of 2011.

In all the hoopla, keeping our accommodations a surprise from me was more tricky. My dad accidentally spilled the (refried) beans when he told me Adam made reservations at Na Balam which is located on Calle Zazil-Ha No. 118, Playa Norte.

Baller.

Until then, I'll be working on my Spanish.

Adios,
BTB

p.s. (upside down exclamation point) Gracias, Adam! Te amo.

Online {and in love}

The stats don't lie- I haven't blogged in quite a while.

There have been too many registries to complete, showers to plan and marriage counseling sessions to attend.

To put it simply, I'm exhausted.

I've got good blogging material... it's just being held captive behind my eyelids.

Thankfully, in the midst of the hoopla, I have finished our wedding website. That alone allows me to cross off 23,329 things on my to-do list.

Activating our wedding website means that I have:

- entered guests into the online guest list manager (I'm still amazed that the guest list is finished!)
- compiled blurbs on members of our wedding party
- confirmed all event information
- provided various driving directions via Google Maps (it's 2011, people)
- booked a block of hotel rooms for guests (thanks, Mom!)
- completed all wedding registries
- compiled a list of our favorite Knoxville sites/sounds for out-of-town guests

For all that and more, please click here.

Love,
BTB

In the woods: the mission statement

As you know, Kate and I are right in the hot middle of our wedding planning process. We're still in the woods. The process is super exciting and very encouraging, but we've a long way to go before the finish.

Here, dear reader, I will try my hand at metaphor. See, Kate and I like to hike.

Pretend that this point in the wedding planning process we are only 2.4 miles from getting to the trailhead.

Though we are a still in the woods in terms of wedding planning, we both realize that we don't want to rush the process. Things do need to get done and do need to be taken care of quickly, but they need to be done deliberately. We may have gotten a million things done in such a short time (at least to me it seems so) but each step has been carefully thought out.

In the beginning, before any of the wedding planning began we both agreed to take a multi-day hiatus from getting things done. The urge to get a running start was too great and we realized that we needed to enjoy our brief moment of engagement bliss. Though Kate (BTB) went out and got her a red binder and we kind of already started talking about wedding plans we made a point to sit down and write out our "Mission Statement" for the wedding.

That's right, I said "Mission Statement." Kate and I sat down and wrote lists of why we want to get married, what we want to happen at our wedding and why. After comparing notes, we compiled a list and prayed about it. Whenever Kate and I get in a tight spot over the cheese tray, guests, music, or how hot it may be, I reference the mission statement.

The biggest thing for us to remember is that it is a celebration of God's work in our lives.

That list brings us back to our roots and back to our senses.

Every day we hang out we realize how much easier this whole process would be if we just lived together! But alas, that is part of the process. I guess I can wait a few more agonizing months.

HTB

Bib

Look at this sweet JCrew number. Unfortunately, it sold out yesterday while I was being indecisive. (That comes as no surprise.)

As I wait for various spring collections to be released, I'll shake my head at what slipped through my fingers and refocus on what I'm looking for in bridal jewelry.

DESIRED: A TIMELESS STATEMENT PIECE THAT OOZES WITH SIMPLICITY AND FEMININITY.

That's a pretty loaded request.

And after critically thinking through the JCrew bib, I'm not sure that it fits the bill.

I mean, a bib necklace? I bought one in Washington, DC the spring of 2009 and it totally got shot down.

The super-sized accessory dates back to ancient Egypt and Elizabeth Taylor. Much later, a Cartier bib necklace was given to the Duchess of Windsor by her husband in 1947.

I'm sure there were more notable pieces in between (didn't we all just LOVE the Stormy Seas necklace from Anthropologie?), and I'm sure there are more to come.

What I'm not sure about is whether I'll wear one at my wedding.

Hmph,
BTB

Menswear

All this time thinking about me, me, me... and I have no idea what the groom is to wear!

Never once did I stop mid-blog scroll to admire that boutonniere or those cuff links-- let alone, give much thought to the question of tux, suit, vest or sleeve-roll.

(Needless to say, this has opened up a whole new reason/way to survey wedding blogs.)

Thankfully, Adam's opinion does count, and he's been helpful in brainstorming ideas. However, it's tricky to argue why a tan suit wouldn't look right with my dress when he has no idea what I'm wearing.

Ho hum.

Which brings me another point: It's 7 months until our wedding and sometimes I can't remember what I'll be wearing.

Sure, I have pictures to which I can refer, but those hardly do anything for my memory on the days where it seems like it's a matter of life or death to remember the exact shade of (insert color) I chose or how breathable (insert fabric type) will be in the July heat.

I will say, what has been extremely helpful - from ordering invitations to meeting with the florist - is having a swatch of fabric on hand from the bridesmaid dresses. Funnily enough, my swatch is in the form of a silk JCrew ruffled blouse I bought along with the dresses.

I just LOVE seeing that hang in my closet!

-BTB

Life's like a garden

Kate's last post made me think of the lyrics of one of my favorite (albeit guilty pleasure) songs.

David Wilcox wrote a song called "Block Dog" where he says "Life's like a garden, I'd like to tend it with my wife. You dig in one spot, dig a straight row. You're only digging to hide the bone. When I lived so free, alone, I had an empty harvest."

I expect there will be digging and sweating, but there will also be fruit. And I guess it isn't linear like plant/reap/enjoy and the seasons aren't necessarily... seasonal, but in its own way each fruit undergoes its own growing and maturation process.

Put on the gloves Kate; I know we're going to have a big garden. :)

A Well-Watered Garden

I've been chewing on my friend's blog post about marriage for a few days now. For the full read, click here. For the abbreviated version followed by my commentary, see below.

as for knowing if you love someone and then if you should marry him…

the longer i’ve been married, my view of this question has become less romantic. i think the question is more about deciding if you want to commit to a life-long relationship. this is a difficult and laborious commitment but one that, i think, has deeply sweet fruits. i haven’t been married for very long (in the wide scope of things) so i am far from a full understanding of my vow. so far i can say that it has been more difficult than it has been fun. but i do feel that i have a priceless friend that (given my character traits), i would not have outside of marriage. i think that this is of value and will continue to become more valuable the longer we commit to it.

deciding if this sort of arrangement aligns with your values and priorities is the first question (i think its okay if it doesn’t).

after this, the specific person you chose becomes less important. i say that because, whoever you marry will grow and change and not be the person you originally picked. and also because, no matter who you pick, you will learn their flaws and forget their beauty and be sometimes annoyed and sometimes you will loathe them (well, i do at least).

not to say that you shouldn’t be diligent and thoughtful in the choosing of a partner. but i guess, the most important thing to consider is if the person has the same commitment and expectations and values for marriage. and after that it just gets down to preferences. think about the things that are most important to you and make sure that those things are supported and valued by your partner and vice versa. i guess i’m saying that feelings of love don’t answer this question. feelings about/for a person are indicators of something going on inside of you and it is good to try and understand what they are pointing to. but they don’t know how to make decisions (especially life-long vows).

I've chewed on this because it's so dang good.

What some may find "less romantic," as Ashley put it, I find thrilling - the grit of marriage. The stuff that's going to require a mixture of head, heart, and help; the necessity of communication, commitment, and community.

The idea is almost too large for me to even put into words. All I can squeak out is a "thank you" to women like Ashley who attest to the fullness of marriage. Or to newly engaged Amelia, who through tears and smiles, has overflowed with love and fear since the day she said, "Yes!"

I'm right there with you, girlfriend.

It's healthy and formative for couples to realize marriage is going to be more than good looks and butterflies.

Some days are going to be gray and overcast. Others will require a lot more shoveling and pruning- we'll probably have to get down on our hands and knees in the dirt and grit. But in the end, there's this picture of a rich marriage to which I cling (Is.58:11-12):

we'll be like a watered garden...

our ruins shall be rebuilt;

we will raise up the foundations of many generations;

we will restore the streets to dwell in.

Wink,

BTB

Guest List

I was certain we would be different.

Turns out, we're the same as all the engaged couples who have gone before us: we hit a wall with the guest list.

As I laid in bed last night, full of ideas and caffeine from a 5-hour road trip, I went over our experience with said list.

I must admit, before I even had a ring on my finger, I created a mock list. "Let's just get an idea!" encouraged my mother. Because of this running start, the process has been largely painless.

To begin, Adam and I utilized Google Docs which allowed us to simultaneously create our individual lists with ridiculous ease. The fact that we could both access the list at any time was beyond helpful. Plus, the autosave feature guaranteed our updates were recorded with no fuss and skipped the frustration that comes when you're a couple who uses both Excel and Numbers applications.

Initially, we each compiled a list which ran side-by-side. For each list, there were 3 columns: # of invitations, Full Name, # in attendance. This allowed us to keep tally of the number of invitations needed; encouraged me to go ahead and properly record the name as it should appear on the envelope; and kept a total head count for the caterer, bartenders, favors, etc.

Tip: Be sure to not factor in children under a certain age if you've reached an agreement with your caterer.

To help organize the chaos and make sure we covered all our social bases, each list was divided into different spheres of interest: Family, Extended Family, Family Friends, Hometown Friends, College Friends, Knoxville Adults, Knoxville Community, Work, etc.

This will look differently for each couple, but identifying the areas/stages of your life helps trigger your thought process as you compile your list.

So, there we had it: our beloved guest list, a true labor of love.

Then the conversations began.

As we kept in communication with our families, we recognized the need to reorder some of our personal priorities and preferences. Because we are having a "smaller" wedding, the natural tension that came with increasing the "Family Friends" category at the expense (both literal and figurative) of any other category was hard to swallow.

With the help of Miss Peggy Post, we're coming to terms with the maintenance required of any guest list. With each step, Adam and I remind each other that on July 16 we're going to be married in the presence of people who undoubtedly love us - and because of that, I have experienced a clean conviction as we make hard decisions.

The decision does not linger and it does not nag. And it does not indicate a wavering friendship or pride/prejudice. It's simply confirmation that we are honoring our parents, we are honoring each other and we are honoring the Lord.

So, as I laid thinking of this list, I also thought of the coffee I drank on the drive home last night. And then it came together in that weird midnight way: you can liken our guest list to a skinny no foam hazelnut latte - my seasonal drink of choice (yay, holiday cups!).

While it's a tall order that receives an occasional roll of the eye... you can't deny it was made with intention and precision. By cutting the foam (thanks, Emmy!), you end up getting more (for what it's worth), and the sugar-free hazelnut keeps it flavorful while being a healthy, slim-and-trim decision.

Yeah, yeah... that's enough, Kate.

Cheers,
BTB

{date}

It still feels tentative- this whole wedding thing.

You don't get married every day, so every step of the process feels entirely foreign. I'm tempted to not spill any of the beans for fear of it all being a big fat lie. But it's not, and I'm slowly opening up my hands and embracing the reality:

We're getting married on July 16 at the Maple Grove Inn.

Deep breaths,
BTB

Oh, and PS - I was rear-ended this afternoon while running out to buy the 5th edition of Emily/Peggy Post's wedding etiquette book. Pfffffff.

Who, What, Why, When, Where?

Ok. There has been a lull in blogging. I came down with a cold last week which I took as an indication of taking on "too much, too fast."

While I have decided on a dress for myself and my bridesmaids, we have yet to nail down a date and location which makes me feel largely unproductive. However, when I consider what I've truly accomplished and researched, I recognize I'm no slacker.

Thus far...

- The guest list is 98% done
- Invitations have been narrowed down to two possible choices
- Quotes have been received from 2 photographers and 1 videographer
- A revised menu has been submitted to the chef at our desired venue
- Kegs have been price-checked from a local beer market
- Favors have been decided upon

During this entire process I have searched tirelessly to find the one decision that needed to be made in order for everything else to fall into place. Being of such a logistical nature, I was convinced there was going to be a magic order to all of this.

Truth be told, I'm stumped. All I can do is make sound decisions that compliment one another and uphold the values Adam and I have for our wedding.

With that being said, Adam and I value the presence of our family and community. Our wedding will certainly be a celebration of the good work started between the two of us, but it will also be an expression of our gratitude for all those who have loved and labored along with us.

After much conversation and research, I am thrilled to announce that I'm getting married in Knoxville! Although my parents were hesitant to walk their only daughter down the aisle in Tennessee, it has become clear that we're all taken with the Maple Grove Inn, a historic bed and breakfast in West Knoxville. It truly has a Virginia feel in the heart of Tennessee.

In the words of my father, a true Virginia Cavalier, "It is definitely a destination worth traveling to!" Being a retired English teacher, he usually doesn't end his sentences with prepositions, but anything goes these days for the Father of the Bride.

So, stay tuned as the date is announced!

Love,
BTB

Sequins

Adam and I had lunch with his mom this afternoon. It was the first time we've seen any family since the proposal and it was so much fun! Cheryl jumped right into registry musts and I tried to show off as much of the wedding binder as possible. "Look at me! Look at me!"

I'm thankful for Adam's family and his relationship with them. It increases my excitement to see my parents on Saturday, and then for the Brimer and Heubach soiree on Monday night! We are merging families; two becoming one.

Today's most exciting happening occurred when Kim at the Georgetown JCrew booked my FIRST bridal consultation for Nov. 26 at 1 pm. Kim made my day (and perhaps has already made my wedding) by allowing me - the one and only "non-emergency" appointment - to be booked on Black Friday.

Haha. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I feel like what a sparkly sequin must feel like.

This whole dress shopping thing has unfolded in such a sweet manner. Initially, I suggested that my mom and I try to squeeze in some Knoxville appointments this weekend. However, my spirit was immediately uneasy.

Without a date/location (and therefore no conversation with potential bridal party members), buying a dress just seemed out of order. The date and location will certainly influence the style of dress, and moreover, I want to savor and share the shopping experience with pronounced members of my bridal party.

It won't be a perfect experience... I'm not in la-la land here... but I can be intentional in how I go about this.

And I can always hope to be sipping champagne in the dressing room.

Smiles,
BTB

Pre-Franck

Forty-eight hours later and I'm engaged in real time... and fighting the planning bug.

Conveniently, neither Adam nor I had to work the day after the proposal. However, that did not stop me from waking up at 5 am to a stomach full of butterflies and absolutely no frame of reference (sidenote: married girlfriends are such a blessing).

Throughout the day, Adam and I continued to run into simple joys...

- remembering to call each other "fiance"
- signing up for brimerwedding@gmail.com (I admit, that was MY joy)
- ecstatically realizing we'll get to register for a new hand mixer - but let's just be honest, it's all or nothing!
- sweetly asking permission before jumping to assumptions

Over lunch today, I purchased a 1.5" bright red binder with 10 pocket divider tabs. Although we've set a three-day no planning grace period, we'll begin a conversation tonight with Carrie Jo to prepare for the 239,847 decisions that lay ahead.

In the words of one dear cousin, "It's not about the cheese tray."

In my own words: One tab down.

Actually, I have eliminated two tabs: Cheese Tray & Get-away Car.

Can I just say.. MY FUTURE FATHER-IN-LAW OWNS AN AUSTIN-HEALEY THAT IS IDENTICAL TO STEVE MARTIN'S IN FATHER OF THE BRIDE.

Oh, sweet mercy. Done and done.

If this is what planning looks & feels like... then, bring it on.

Love,
BTB